PPZ:Dawn of the Dreadfuls: A Review
The dedication of the hilarious prequel to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies sets the stage for every page to follow. “For Jane. We kid because we love.” Steve Hockensmith’s tale begins four years prior, and as a tale of Regency England and zombies, appropriately begins with a funeral. From the first line of the novel all of the characteristic quirks of Austen’s creations are alive and well within the pages of the tome – in spite of their being continually surrounded by the Undead. Mr. Bennet’s sly smiles and knowing looks are put to the test as his wife’s unending quest to marry out her five daughters will be stopped for no man – living or undead. The dread Zed word Troubles have faced England before – and Oscar Bennet is determined his daughters shall not fall prey to any brain hungry, shambling corpses and sets to work training them in the deadly arts. Jane is ever the serene beauty, even when forced to keep watch for both the undead and a lecherous not-so nobleman with far from honorable designs upon her. Lizzy must face finding her inner warrior while her father and martial arts master, Geoffrey Hawksworth decry the need for warfare and weaponry – and her new friend, Dr. Keckilpenny, a man of science hopes to reverse the zombie curse without removing all those zombie heads. Middle daughter Mary, now fourteen, continues to struggle with finding her place both as a warrior and within her own family. Mary is forever reminding Kitty and Lydia of the ever so improper use of the Zed word, while continually attempting to better herself as a Zom- unmentionable killer. Lydia and Kitty are as hysterical as their mother when the idea that they should never have coming out balls of their own begins to sink in, but the constant tittering of the two youngest Bennets forever leads them from one moment to the next, and has them forever running laps around the grounds of Longbourn as Master Hawksworth has no time for such things, although Lydia and Kitty are certain he has eyes only for Lizzy.
Will Jane defeat the unmentionables and the unquestionably lecherous Lord Lumpley? Will Lizzy have to chose between the attentions of Master Hawksworth and Dr. Keckilpenny, or will the dreadfuls make that choice for her? Will Mary Bennet ever overcome middle child syndrome? Will Kitty and Lydia ever stop their ceaseless tittering? Will Mrs. Bennet ever stop comparing stations and decrying spinsterhood as a fate worse than death? And will poor Oscar Bennet ever get a moment’s peace?
Find out in Quirk Classics’ newest novel by Steve Hockensmith:
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls
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Enter Quirk Classics PPZ:DOD Contest here!
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Suicidal and snowbound is no place to be
The wind howls ’round the eaves
And softly screams, traveling through
Rafters and beams -rambling among
Each and every crack of my little shack
Down comes the moon – when full she was supposed to be –
Once before she fell full on
Winter’s splendor and summer’s shame and now there is
Nothing- nothing remains…
Torment my ears but you cannot trouble my eyes – they
Hear your sad longing. They are bright
Enough to know that the whimper is just a spiteful guise.
Below that lopsided grin and dew stained eye
Are nothing but lies
Rich in torment and with a very
Rare hint of a ruse they offer a choice
Ever so thoughtfully but you are the
Lost soul who must choose
Will you say an extra prayer for me to whomever you chose?
How is it that whenever I speak to God – I know that somehow
Always, always my little piece of the sky is empty.
The knocking does me no good –
Doorbell unanswered, No number to take, No
One to leave my calling card with
Yet, tomorrow I’ll knock again, traipsing
Over the keep off the grass sign with an entire,
Utter lack of regard for
Someone else’s manicured lawn.
Each step an abomination on a perfect plot of land –
Each step a soft, lush, green reminder that spring will come again.
Keep Off The Grass
Quotations for every day living 11.20.2009
From other purported Marflings:
Abraham Lincoln:
““I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down…”
““If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will.”
“To stand in silence when they should be protesting makes cowards out of men”
“I walk slowly, but I never walk backward”
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
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Charles de Gaulle :
“For glory gives herself only to those who have always dreamed of her.”
“Never relinquish the initiative.”
“Silence is the ultimate weapon of power.”
“There can be no prestige without mystery, for familiarity breeds contempt.”
“Greatness is a road leading towards the unknown”
Quotations for every day living 11.16.2009
“Give me health & a day, & I will make the pomp of emperors ridiculous.”
{Ralph Waldo Emerson}
“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.”
{James Oppenheim}
“One must believe in Miracles if they are to be a Realist.”
{Simon Wisenthal}
“Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.”
{Gabriel Garcia Marquez}
All ye need know…
Not all who wander are lost…{Tolkien}
And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. {Gibran}
Never deprive someone of hope – it may be all that they have. {Anon.}
Melancholic Misanthrope: Enough Said - In Poetry & Prose 